Ab3^ | A Summary of Me: February 2004

Let me clarify you my situation:

1. I failed my first semester. Sent me far below my friends' cgpa. Thank God, I managed to strive again in last summer and fall semesters.

2. I am a Spring intake student. Which is good for a graduation planning because I'll have an extra summer term.

3. On the other hand, it's really bad to be a spring intake student. I have one semester short compared to those Fall intake students when it comes to the conditional period which is a year and a half. This period will determine whether I am qualified to enter my department/faculty or not.

4. I am in the last semester of that conditional period.

5. The qualifications are, my cgpa is above 2.00 and I've done the required courses. The first one is good but the second one... hell I am doing the last course now. Plus it is the most difficult course for me.

6. If I am not qualified, I'll have a big problem. To be in the department/faculty means that I will have my status as a Penn State student for the rest of the years. That also means, I will have my immigration status guaranteed.

7. If I am not in the department by next semester, I am no longer a Penn State student and thus my immigration status will be taken back. I can't stay in the USA!

8. That means I will be thrown back to Malaysia.

9. 50/50. Fail or not failing that subject. Options?

9(a). Do not fail the last required course of entrance to my major.
9(b). Take another major which do not require that last course. Hell yeah, all engine majors need that course.
9(c). Further my study somewhere else. Private school maybe; which does not bother bout this conditional period as much as public schools do.
9(d). Further my study in Malaysia. Nauzubillahi min zalika sayyiah.

I believe you can see how crucial this semester for me.

I sought for a relief and happiness and that's why I'm not at my home. Friends or not... we are not married!

So stop being selfish. Don't just write somewhere something implicit about me. Because that worsens my situation. Unless you really wanted to send me back to Malaysia.

Live a life lah!

Posted by Ahmad Fadzli on February 29, 2004 at 8:49:00 AM | Permalink

What a Sunday...
Since afternoon kepala aku dah berdenyut sampailah ke pagi nih. Tak tau kat mane silap, maybe tidor tak betul. Serabut gak minggu lepas.

So.. semalam tak siap hw. Kol 1 aku dah kong atas katil Awie, mengeram kesakitan :p Minyak cap kapak yang Yana beli arik tuh habes dicurahkan atas kepala ni. Sejuk satu kepala pun masih tak mampu hilangkan denyutan di sebelah atas kiri kepala.

Nasib baik kol 3 pagi aku terbangun balik. Better do something bout the hw. Seb baik si Awie dah siap buat.. so aku pun lalalalalalala~~ la, apa lagi.. :D Lepas tuh aku tak tido sampai sekarang. Kelas kol 9 pagi aku dah masuk kol 8 pagi. Duduk lah aku dalam lecture hall untuk 600 orang tuh sorang2, baca paper. Suatu bende yang tak pernah aku buat.

Before that, breakfast kat creamery. Habes satu kedai tuh bau minyak cap kapak.. hahaha..Nasib la korang. Terjumpa si Jaffar, wished him Awal Muharram.

Now kat Pollock Library.

Semalam, masa mengeram, aku terpikir suatu bende yang buat minda aku terbuka. Mungkin minda korang dah terbuka pasal nih, just minda aku yg slow...

As a student di perantauan, pernah tak terfikir how relationship between us and those in homeland becomes better?

Bile aku dah lama tak bertanya kabar, aku jadi rindu. Bile dah rindu hati mula pilu, rasa rindu dan sayangkan keluarga mula muncul. Bila dah rindu, aku mula jadi peka. Peka dengan perkembangan orang2 kejauhan. Adik.. jiran.. dsb. Bile peka... aku akan mula bertanya...

Tak pernah terfikir dek aku, kite akan jadik orang tgh dalam menyelesaikan masalah dua orang yang terang2 duduk sebumbung. Walhal kite ini nun jauh di sebelah sana dunia.

Bila ada yang tak kene dalam famili, kite mula ambil berat, walhal, dahulunya, sewaktu masih tinggal sebumbung, kita tak ambil kisah sangat.

Cara kita bercakap pun berbeza. Mungkin dulu kite segan2 nak cakap ngan parents or abg kakak. But now, bile berjauhan, banyak plak bende yang nak diborakkan. Dulu punyala susah nak tanya "study camne?" or "sumer sihat?" But skang, bende remeh pun kita tanya...

Pelik kan?

Funny how we began to realize these small entities which tighten a relationship. Funny how we managed to tegur adik, tegur rakan dari kejauhan, hanya melalui phone or internet. Lebih funny bile masalah dapat diselesaikan...

Tak funny.... bagus la bende camnih. Yang jadik funny nye bile pk2 balik, orang2 di Malaysia tak ambil kisah pun pasal nih. Mungkin tak rindu? Bile tak rindu hati tak pilu, bile hati tak pilu, minda tak peka, bila minda tak peka, kita taknak bertanya...

oleh itu.. sedarlah rakan2ku di Malaysia. Hargailah mereka2 yang anda kasihi...

okeh class in 5 minutes...

Posted by Ahmad Fadzli on February 23, 2004 at 9:55:00 PM | Permalink

Hari ahad. Semua orang tgh tido lagi. Aku terbangun awal walaupun semalam tido lewat sangat. Cek email, gosok gigi, basuh muka, then makan sikit nasik semalam. Lepas tulis jurnal hari nih, aku nak stat stadi math secara intensif.

Semalam ade meeting Malaysian Society. Banyak jugak perkara yang dibincangkan. Yang paling penting is pasal nak register MS as a club under Pennstate (no longer bebas), then Midwest 2004. Pres did a really good job and I feel happy working with her as her vice. Committee pun bagus, semua bersemangat nak buat something term nih; before we leave the chairs to somebody else.

Midwest Games kali nih, aku main ping pong. No matter how hard I tried to play other sports, ping pong still suits me. Aku boleh main sport lain but setakat main jer la. Takde yang betul2 cemerlang macam pingpong. So, why don't I give it a shot, asah balik skill yang dah hilang. Seb baik aku bawak bat aku dari Malaysia. Dah lama sangat tak main, semalam baru main lepas hampir setahun. Badan pun rasa agak berat, tak react precisely dengan my mind. Backhand spin dah tak berapa menjadi. Hish, kene practise banyak2 nih...

Somehow I feel like improving my health life after this. Tak berapa terjaga sejak due menjak nih. Maybe practise session untuk ping pong akan membantu aku sedikit sebanyak.

Dah terlajak cerita pasal ping pong nih, ape kate kalau aku cerita lebih lanjut pasal penglibatan aku dalam arena nih. Member2 aku bukannya tahu sangat pon. Aku pikir dua kali sebenarnya kalau nak cerita pasal life aku. Lagi2 kalu suh citer details...

Ok.. aku main ping pong sejak form 1. Tergerak untuk main ping pong sebab takde sport lain yang available. Yep.. none except pingpong. Bola ade tapi kene carik padang sendiri. Padang plak takde, yang ada hanyalah pasir pantai yang memutih. Hish sekolah ape nih, sports ade satu jer, dah la dekat pantai.. :p

Sekolah pondok.
Institut Pengajian Al-Quran Al-Husna.

Nama canggih tapi lifestyle still cam sekolah pondok. Slalu takde elektrik, bile takde elektrik pam air tak jalan and bile pam air tak jalan... kitorang terpaksa gi pam air sendiri, mandi tepi perigi. Kol 4 pagi kitorang dah bangun. Seronok bangun pepagi, sebab takde pencemaran bunyi. Yang kedengaran hanya deruan ombak. Memang damai sangat...

Bile dah petang, kelas pun dah selesai, kitorang pun beriadhahler. Kalau yang rajin, joging tepi pantai. Kalau lagi rajin, joging jauh sikit, pegi padang bola paling berdekatan. Aku? aku dah ready awal2. Bat ping pong ngan bola tuh tersisip rapi di bawah ketiak tak berbulu aku.

Budak form 1... lantakla kalau aku orang paling awal kat meja pingpong tuh, still budak form 1. Kalau dah senior datang ramai2, muka sumer stok main tomoi... mane la aku berani nak bantah. Nak taknak kene tunggu giliran. Muka aku yang sebelumnya excited, jadi kelu. Kadang2 aku tak main langsung, penat jer tunggu tepi meja tuh.

But.. one day, a senior (FYI, in sekolah pondok, when I say a senior, I really mean it because age is not a big deal. He was 23 at that time but still in Form 3... :D) So, he let me play. And suddenly, orang suke main ngan aku. The reason behind it is that... they don't like it if they lost to me. So they kept asking for a new set. Sape suke kalah dgn orang muda 10 taun? haha.. then, starting from that day, I got to play frequently... Sampailah aku pindah ke sekolah lain..

Begitulah camne aku boleh main pingpong. Aku banyak pindah sekolah. Kirenye ade lagi cerita lepas tuh. But.. maybe lain kali la. Kang tak jadi keje lak.

okeh.. happy new week. Be productive la sikit minggu nih :p

Posted by Ahmad Fadzli on February 15, 2004 at 11:16:00 PM | Permalink

Bangun awal hari nih. Semalam lepas tgk citer Ong Bak terus tido. Penat giler. Sebelum tuh aku main game baru, OTOGI. Due2 menarik, lagik menarik dari kuiz yang aku ade hari nih dan exam minggu depan. Kesimpulannya, aku tak study ape2 semalam.

Aku tak bape sihat skang nih. Layak untuk dapat cuti. Setelah 3 minggu tak tanggal2 contact, aku akhirnya setuju dengan doktor, sebelum tido kene bukak contacts.

sebelum tido kene bukak contacts.
sebelum tido kene bukak contacts.
sebelum tido kene bukak contacts.

Cuma, aku masih tak bersetuju pakai contact yang sama untuk sebulan jer. Yang aku pakai skang, dah 3 bulan tak tuka2. Hahaha.. mmg layak mata aku kene infection.

Memandangkan exam dah dekat, aku rase aku kene berehat sembuhkan mata aku yg sakit nih. Kelas hari nih, aku ingat aku pegi yang ade kuiz jer la kot. Tu pun kene pakai sunglasses kot. Hai.... sedih sungguh. Tu la... lain kali ikut cakap doktor tuh. Bile dah sakit kang tensyen... Nak pegi klinik kat sini, jangan harap ler. Mahal sangat.

Aku mungkin tak ke mana Spring break nih. Sengkek sangat dah. Lepas bayar hutang ngan sewa hari tuh, aku terus jadik sengkek. Nak taknak aku kene save tak hingat2 dalam 3 bulan nih, sebelum next allowance masuk. Sorila kengkawan, tak dapat nak follow korang pi new york.

Hari Isnin hari tuh, aku dah boleh register untuk kelas summer. Sat lagik ade problem, banyak courses yang aku plan nak amik, ade time conflict. Padahal aku plan nak amik 4 kelas jer. But still.. conflicted.. Hish... tensyen giler aku. Kire study plan aku kene dirombak lagi la nih. Nak taknak kene amik berat sikit masa sem biasa. Tak boleh nak relek2... Arrghh!!!

hish.. banyak la plak kisah sedih dalam entri kali nih. Nak buat camne... Oh yes, aku satu citer hepi. Hari Isnin hari tuh besday Amin. But kitorang plan nak buat suprise. So, dari pagi Isnin kitorang tak wish ape2 kat amin, even tak tuka sign in name kat messenger. Bende biasa yang kitorang buat bile member sambut besday. Kesian kat Amin. Banyak gile dia kasik hints, kitorang buat tatau jer. Harhhahah.. sori min :p

nih ade satu hadiah untuk ko:
click here for Amin's deepest secret. :p

okeh, demi exam2 minggu depan... aku nak stat study dulu. Ni dah terbangun awal, elokla kirenye kalau aku merajinkan diri...

Posted by Ahmad Fadzli on February 11, 2004 at 7:58:00 PM | Permalink

A reply to a friend's entry.

I'd say this without being a male or a female, that everything happens for a good reason. First of all, lets put (imagine) the words heaven and hell in front of us. One on the right and one on the left. I believe that's the way we muslims should do in the first place.

Unbelievably, this is what controlling us from doing sins, motivating us to be patience for years. Because we believe, buat baik dibalas baik, buat jahat dibalas jahat. If not now, it will be in the hereafter.

But how about doing nothing?

This is when obligation comes. This is why people stand up, marching all the way through Chow Kit Road towards Istana Negara. I believe people did this because they know what caused rapes and other crimes. There are just too many motivations... physical settings, cognitive relationships.

And I just believe that this is the-good-reason we are searching for.

People get mad when this happens, questioning of God being unfair but they themselves get mad when a group of people fought against Las Vegas Malaysia.

When this happens, this is no more a religious task. God should not be blamed in the first place. Sometimes we ourselves help to create this kind of disaster.

People try to make everything equal but they forgot that we are uniquely made of different from each other.

Only in the late 1940's, people who are studying Human Development realized that the studies aren't just about finding similarities, but also the differences, because that's the way the nature is.

And sometimes we just forgot that the world (better if I say dunia) itself is the arena, where we are being tested and tested, for a very short period. This will hold true IF we believe in God.

IF and ONLY IF ....

I know I am not qualified to argue with anything like these, but maybe this is the reason behind it, so we can discuss, learn and take it as a lesson.

Don't pity the girl, pity us:-
Who knows where we are in the hereafter, unlike that girl....

____________________________________________
updates

*ANOTHER HOLIDAY!!!*
just checked the website about school closings and delays. Here's what it says:

Friday, February 6, 2004
as of 8:19am

-xtremely icy conditions have caused Penn State to cancel scheduled activities at University Park from 5am to 3pm today. Classes are cancelled for the entire day. Employees performing non-essential functions who normally work 8:00am-5:00pm will not be expected to report to work today. Employees whose shifts begin at or after 1:00pm are expected to report at 3:00pm. Personnel performing essential service functions are, of course, expected to report as regularly scheduled unless advised otherwise by their supervisor. Scheduled activities will resume at 3:00pm.-

Huurraaahhhh!!! (follow this link for some pictures)

Posted by Ahmad Fadzli on February 6, 2004 at 7:16:00 PM | Permalink

So there goes another wintry extra holiday. Poor snow staffs, they couldn't do anything to clean up the roads and the sidewalks. This is definitely the part I like about studying in the USA. In return of the extra holiday, most of us will be throwing snowballs at each other. Snowman is everywhere. Not to mention the other version of the snowman.

I got 3 quizzes this morning. Wish me luck. Then, the exam on Monday was pretty good. I just circled 5 questions out of 40. For this course (Human Development) we have 4 midterms and no final. If I am about to get an A for this class, I can't get more than 14 wrongs. That means 3.5 wrongs for each midterm. Hell yeah... that's quite critical.

Lastly, I wish happy 21st birthday to Mahirah & Adila. Semoga berbahagia dunia dan akhirat. Semoga dipermudahkan segala kerja yang baik itu...

so long

Posted by Ahmad Fadzli on February 4, 2004 at 9:32:00 PM | Permalink

Search this blog

Archives